[00:00] I’m Jeff Altman, the Big Game Hunter. I’m a career and leadership coach. I help people find work, hire better, lead and manage people better, generally be more effective in the workplace. And one of the things that shows up from time to time is people asking you to give them—asking you to provide a reference for them as part of their search.

[00:23] And there are times you don’t want to give the reference. You know the person is marginal at best. So how do you do that? Now, I can do this in a couple of different ways because I know I get those reference requests all the time. Like, people will message me for recommendations on LinkedIn. And they’re in India or Spain and they say I should provide a recommendation for them, even though I haven’t been within a thousand miles of them anytime of their life. And I’m supposed to write a recommendation that says what a wonderful employee they are. Doesn’t work, does it?

[01:04] And I’m not going to try gaming the LinkedIn system with fraudulent recommendations. I think it’s bad for everyone. So, the first thing is, is this really a personal or professional recommendation that you’re trying to turn down? Let’s say it’s a professional one. Why don’t they already know that you don’t value their work? What is it about you and your leadership style or your work as a co-leader where they don’t get it, that you don’t like their work, or you think they’re a problem, or you think they’re dishonest? That’s on you, that’s not on them.

[01:41] And I would politely say to you, adjust. Because that’s a mistake that’s causing people to think you value them more highly than you do. That doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to be rude or obnoxious, but it does suggest that the one way out of this is by saying, “You know, I think a better reference for you would probably be,” and you point them to someone on the team who knows their work better and could probably say something about them.

[02:07] “Yeah, but, um, they won’t give me a reference.” Well, and then you laugh and go, “I’m not really your best reference. I think you ought to find someone else.”

[02:19] Now, if it’s a personal reference and they want you to substantiate something about them personally, well, you can always say, “I really only know you to a limited degree. And thus, you know, if they start probing deeply, you know, I don’t really have the data about you because we’ve really only hung out with one another once or twice, or spent any time with one another once or twice. So there’s got to be a better reference than me for this.”

[02:49] So, you have to be somewhat forthright with them and point them to situations where you just don’t really know enough about them to provide the reference. And fundamentally, that’s what you’re trying to do, is point them to someone else to provide it or politely say, “I really don’t know you.”

[03:10] And in my case, where it’s people more than a thousand miles away who I’ve never spoken with before in my life, and they expect me to write a recommendation about them and do—do it from their LinkedIn—I have to do all the work for them, and I don’t even know them. And I would politely say, “Explain this one to me. We’ve never worked together before. We haven’t been within a thousand miles of one another before. How am—how is someone supposed to believe that I, as a coach, or before that as a recruiter, have a way of substantiating the quality of your work? Could you explain that one to me?” And normally, they would go away.

[03:50] In your case, if it’s a former colleague or a friend of yours who’s asking to write a recommendation, or to provide an oral recommendation because they’re doing a reference check, well, you can politely point out to them that, “Well, you know, we haven’t worked with one another before.” And all they have to do is to take one look at the LinkedIn profile to see that we’re in completely different fields and have never worked with one another. “Just explain to me how this would work for your benefit, because I don’t see it. I think they’ll figure out pretty quickly that I’m just a friend of yours masquerading as a professional reference.”

[04:29] LinkedIn makes it harder to cheat these days because there’s data there, and it just shows where the ties are and where they aren’t. So, recognize that. You can’t game it like you used to, and if you try to, trust me, you’re the one who’s going to get hurt because firms are going to recognize the BS and pull offers from you.

[04:52] I’m Jeff Altman. Hope you found this helpful. Visit my website, TheBigGameHunter.us. You know, I’ve got a ton more there that you can watch, listen to, or read that will help you find work more quickly.

[05:03] Also, I want to mention, you know, I’ve—I’ve got a great YouTube channel at JobSearchTV.com. That takes you directly to the channel, and you can watch all my videos and podcasts there. It’s more than six and a half thousand, 7,000 posts at this point, of material there that you can watch as well. And you can subscribe to my channel there by clicking a small icon in the lower right.

[05:29] And I’m available on BingeNetworks.tv, which is an app for Fire TV. It’s an app for Apple TV, Roku, 90-some-odd video platforms that my content is available on through the BingeNetworks.tv app, so you can watch me there.

[05:47] And also want to say, if you’re interested in one-on-one coaching, you know, you can message me through my website. There’s a button on the homepage where you can schedule a free discovery call me—call with me. I’d love to talk with you and see whether I can be of help.

[06:02] Have a great day!