By Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

Steve Jaffe’s book, The Layoff Journey, serves as an insightful and empathetic guide for individuals navigating the challenging experience of job loss. Drawing on his personal journey of four layoffs over 22 years, Jaffe presents the process of recovering from being “involuntarily let go” as a journey through seven stages, similar to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s Stages of Grief: Denial, Pain, Negotiation, Depression, Acceptance, Reconstruction, and Renewal. The author aims to help others process their job loss in months rather than years, sharing lessons learned from his own extensive experience.

A Review of The Layoff Journey

This book is praised for its authenticity and relatability, distinguishing itself from academic self-help books by being “born from real-life experiences, written by someone who’s weathered the storm of job loss not once but four times”. Jaffe establishes himself as an “expert who understands the pain and grief” of job loss, offering genuine, relatable experiences in an authentic tone. Readers can consider it a “survival guide” and a “master class in navigating the grief of job loss”.

The book is lauded for its empathetic and validating approach, providing “insights, real stories, facts, myths, and advice—all designed to help you navigate and validate this season of life”. It offers practical “Roadmap Exercises” at the end of each chapter, intended to “cultivate intentionality and resilience” and build “a strong foundation of coping skills”. A particularly valuable aspect highlighted is the “Reframe” section at the close of each stage, which encourages readers to shift their perspective and find positive takeaways from the difficult experience. The author’s anecdotes, such as his first layoff after his wedding and honeymoon, or the story of the “What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas” campaign, make the narrative compelling and demonstrate how setbacks can lead to significant success.

Ultimately, the book frames the “layoff journey” not as a debilitating event but as a catalyst for personal growth and reinvention. It empowers readers by showing that while “the job loss knocked over the first domino,” one can actively choose their response and rebuild.

The book provides numerous lessons and strategies to help individuals triumph over adversity and successfully find their next role:

• Understand the Nature of Layoffs: Recognize that layoffs are commonplace and rarely are a reflection of your abilities. They are often “no-fault” terminations due to business or economic conditions beyond your control. This understanding helps to combat feelings of shame, embarrassment, and self-doubt.
• Process Emotions Healthily:
  • Acknowledge and Accept: Allow yourself to feel the wave of emotions—disbelief, shock, pain, anger, sadness, humiliation—without judgment.
  • Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, validating your feelings as normal and natural responses to loss.
  • Express Emotions: Use purposeful and healthy outlets like journaling, talking to a trusted friend, mentor, family member, or therapist, or engaging in creative activities such as music or art.
  • Mindful Meditation: Utilize practices like mindful meditation (simple deep breathing and body awareness exercises) to bring peace and stillness to chaotic situations and develop coping skills.
  • Whole-Body Approach: Actively manage the physical and emotional toll by developing healthy coping skills, as layoffs can exacerbate pre-existing vulnerabilities like depression and anxiety.
• Confront Financial Reality: Immediately determine your financial reserves, identify potential cuts, and explore sources of income like severance or unemployment benefits. This early picture is essential for navigating uncertainty.
• Strategic Negotiation: While job separation is often non-negotiable, the terms of your release can be negotiated.
  • Know Your Worth: Don’t automatically accept the initial offer; items like severance pay, health coverage, equipment (e.g., company laptop), references, and rehire eligibility can be on the table.
  • Seek Legal Counsel: For those over 40, the Older Workers Benefit Protection Act guarantees 21 days to review agreements. For all, seeking formal legal counsel can help understand rights and options.
  • Mutual Non-Disparagement: Aim for mutual non-disparagement clauses, where both parties agree not to speak negatively about each other.
  • Advocate Assertively: Educate yourself on the issues and express your needs and boundaries respectfully yet confidently, even if your terms are not fully met, for the mental health benefits of self-assertion.
• Maintain Professionalism and Network:
  • Don’t Burn Bridges: Avoid lashing out or disparaging your former employer, as industries are surprisingly small, and you may encounter former colleagues again.
  • Preserve Your Reputation: Leaving on friendly terms preserves access to goodwill and future opportunities.
  • Hidden Job Market: Recognize that 70-80% of jobs are not publicized and are accessed through networking, recruiters, relationships, and referrals.
  • Set Boundaries: Establish limits with former colleagues who might commiserate negatively, to create a sense of safety and control.
• Combat Depression and Reconnect with Joy:
  • Separate Self-Worth from Work: Understand that your identity is not solely defined by your job. A layoff doesn’t diminish your inherent worth.
  • Feed Positive Self-Esteem: Consciously mute negative feedback loops and replace them with positive self-talk.
  • Establish Routine and Balance: Create a new daily routine to provide structure and stability. Balance job searching with activities that boost mood-regulating neurotransmitters (serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine), such as exercise, a healthy diet, affection, and time outdoors.
  • Pursue Joy: Identify and actively seek out activities that fill your cup and recharge your batteries, whether it’s a hobby, social interaction, or a “guilty pleasure”.
  • Self-Care: Beyond indulgence, self-care involves making choices that improve your life long-term, such as getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and tackling daunting tasks to build a sense of accomplishment.
• Embrace Acceptance and Reinvention:
  • Drop the Rope: Stop expending energy fighting against what you cannot change; acceptance is about acknowledging pain and loss and weaving it into your new reality, not condoning it.
  • Radical Acceptance: Embrace reality wholeheartedly, without resistance, even if it’s painful or unfair, to reduce additional emotional suffering and break cycles of “what if” thinking.
  • Reconstruct Your Identity: Like the “Ship of Theseus” metaphor, your core essence, skills, passions, and experiences remain intact even as external circumstances change. This is a time to regain footing, reset boundaries, realign skills, and reprioritize values.
  • Frame Positively: When discussing your layoff with prospective employers, frame it as a period of growth, enhanced skills, expanded perspective, and a clearer sense of direction.
• Cultivate a Growth Mindset and Pivot:
  • View Obstacles as Opportunities: See change as an opportunity for growth and learning, not a personal shortcoming.
  • Pivoting: This period is an ideal time to evaluate career trajectory, acquire new skills, or make a “seismic shift” to something new that aligns with your purpose and passion. Examples like Vera Wang and Colonel Harland Sanders illustrate successful pivots.
  • Embrace Negative Capability: Remain in uncertainties and doubts without striving for immediate, clear answers. This allows for focus on the present and potential reinvention.
• Lead with Intention and Find Your “Why”:
  • New Horizon: Renewal is about “stepping into something new,” daring to dream again, and rebuilding your career with a new sense of purpose.
  • Audacity of Hope: Have the courage and optimism to believe that tomorrow will be better and that your efforts will pay off, even after numerous rejections.
  • Intentionality: Approach career decisions with a clear “why” behind your actions, ensuring they align with your core purpose, values, and aspirations. This transforms job loss into a launchpad for growth and fulfillment.
  • Strategic Job Search: Be intentional about the opportunities you pursue, focusing on those that excite, challenge, and align with your values. Frame your time away as a deliberate period of reflection and growth.

By applying these lessons, individuals can not only navigate the pain and uncertainty of a layoff but also transform the experience into an opportunity for profound personal and professional growth, leading to a more fulfilling and resilient career path.

Ⓒ The Big Game Hunter, Inc., Asheville, NC 2025  

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