Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is sharing an emotional update in her cancer journey.

Three months after the Jersey Shore alum revealed she’d be undergoing a hysterectomy amid her cervical cancer diagnosis, she opened up about the physical and mental toll of the surgery.

“Right when I go in, it’s just like, ‘Oh my god, it hit me, like holy s–t. I’m going under surgery,’” Snooki recalled of the procedure in a July 31 TikTok video, which she also shared on Instagram. “‘I’m losing my uterus and my cervix, fallopian tubes, half my vagina, like holy s–t.’”

“I just start hysterically bawling, I’m so scared,” she continued through tears. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I don’t wanna feel pain. It’s very scary.”

The 38-year-old—who shares kids Lorenzo, 13, Giovanna, 11, and Angelo, 6, with husband Jionni LaValle—began the eight-minute video by documenting the events leading up to her procedure.