“I hope they look back and feel loved and celebrated!” Julia Zaborowski-Casper tells PEOPLE

NEED TO KNOW

• Chicago parents Julia Zaborowski-Casper and Phil Casper have spent a decade giving their children an entire day of one-on-one time instead of focusing on birthday presents

• Inspired by Julia’s experiences with loss and their busy careers, each child gets to plan how they spend their special day

• The tradition is all about making their children feel loved, celebrated and prioritized

For Julia Zaborowski-Casper and her husband, Phil Casper, birthdays have never been about finding the biggest present or the latest toy. Instead, the Chicago parents made a decision years ago that has become the most meaningful gift they could give their children, Dorie, 10, and Jordan, 6: an entire day devoted to them. 

With demanding careers often pulling them in different directions, they wanted birthdays to become a pause from everyday life, giving each child their undivided attention and the freedom to shape a day built around what makes them happiest. 

“I think this tradition combines both time together and experiences so it’s the best of both worlds!” Julia, 45, tells PEOPLE exclusively.

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The tradition began in 2016 on Dorie’s first birthday, shortly after Phil started his own company and his workdays became increasingly demanding. Rather than focusing on toys, Julia told him the greatest gift he could give their daughter was simply being there.

That decision became the foundation for what the family now calls “The Gift of Time” — a birthday tradition centered on creating memories.

For Julia, the idea was also shaped by a deeply personal perspective on life’s fleeting moments.

After losing her father when she was just 8 years old and her mother at 34, she came to value time in a way that few people do so early in life. Looking back, she says, “That lived experience at such a young age gives you a different perspective on time and how valuable it really is.”

As the children have gotten older, however, the tradition has also evolved.

When their kids were younger, Julia and Phil planned simple outings like pancakes at a favorite restaurant, afternoons at the park or beach days for Jordan, who has a summer birthday. Now, the birthday child takes the lead, choosing exactly how to spend the day.

“Last year Jordan wanted hot dogs for lunch and dinner, and that’s exactly what we had,” Julia recalls. “He still talks about it!”

Other activities include shopping, enjoying a Broadway show back when the family lived in New York City or visits to the zoo or aquarium.

“I think putting them in charge of planning their own special day feels so exciting to them because it gives them autonomy and a chance to think about exactly what they think would be fun,” Julia explains. 

The arrival of their second child gave the tradition even more meaning.

As an only child herself, Julia had never experienced sibling dynamics before becoming a mother, and she quickly realized how valuable dedicated one-on-one time could be. Each birthday is now spent with just the birthday boy or girl before the whole family comes together again for dinner that evening.

“Dorie is four years older than Jordan, so I’ve had lots of solo time with her; it’s really when Jordan was born I realized what a luxury that was,” Julia admits. “Time with my kids is the best gift for me, especially after losing my parents.”

Those annual celebrations have also become a reminder of just how quickly childhood passes.

Julia tells PEOPLE it feels like yesterday that they were bringing Dorie home from the hospital, and now she’s preparing to start middle school. Jordan is growing just as quickly, and as their calendars become packed with school, sports and birthday parties, uninterrupted family time has become even more precious.

“As they get older, they need you in different ways, and that feels both amazing and also hard as they become more independent,” Julia shares. “We’re really lucky that they both still love our family time above all else!” 

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And while the birthday adventures may evolve from year to year, the purpose behind them never does. For Julia and Phil, clearing their schedules for one child each birthday sends a message that lasts far longer than any wrapped present could.

“I hope they look back and feel loved and celebrated!” Julia tells PEOPLE. “To me it’s not about what we do, it’s more about them knowing we clear the whole day just for them.”

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