After the phoney war, came the longest day. And with councils still rationing oil lamps and overtime, here we were for the second Scottish election in a row hunkering down in front of our telly boxes for a day of fireworks and drama and all well before the watershed.
Indeed, BBC One Scotland couldn’t wait to get going. Last time, its coverage only began as the first results rolled in at around lunchtime.
This time, that pesky all-night wait got the better of them and like well-rested babies, their panel of presenters were happily babbling away soon after the breakfast dishes had been cleared.
‘It has begun!’ intoned anchorman Martin Geissler after the opening credits showed some weird alien pyramid floating across images of Scotland before unfurling into a colourful ‘26’ logo.
As if to hammer home what had begun, Geissler unveiled a potent arsenal of visual props and screens linking to every conceivable count in the country. At HQ in Glasgow, there was an army of pundits and pollsters and politicians ready to crunch numbers and squeeze contacts for the inside track.
With their main rivals at STV on strike, the Beeb had a clear run at the experts and splurged couchfuls of them across studios in Glasgow and at Holyrood.
Geissler was even joined by STV’s former political editor Bernard Ponsonby who was happy to warm his seat on the main discussion panel while his ex-colleagues froze theirs off beside a picket line brazier.
Now all they needed were some results to discuss. With none due for the foreseeable, they chucked about some heavyweight flannel. ‘It’s all going to become clear in the next six hours – stick with us please,’ begged Geissler.
Martin Geissler anchored the BBC’s coverage of the Holyrood elections
The STV’s former political editor Bernard Ponsonby appeared on the Beeb while his ex-colleagues were out on strike
Former Scottish Tory leader Douglas Ross copped an early zinger after Geissler said he last saw him running the line at a recent Celtic v Hibs match. ‘Thank goodness for VAR,’ quipped Ponsonby.
A running joke began over the colour of Lib Dem Willie Rennie’s suit. Was it really purple? The re-elected MSP later confirmed by text that it was, in fact, ‘plum, like the Professor’. Political fortunes, too, were coloured with forecasts of Green shoots, ‘red dread’ and turquoise waves.
Co-presenter Laura Miller said it was important to ‘have some fun’ as she introduce a slot called Pets go Polling, with images of cute dogs at polling stations, including a poppet called Pippa from Motherwell and Mack from Blairdardie ‘behaving well’.
Later, we saw Stephen from Aberdeen Deeside and North Kincardine, a political ‘big beast’, whose bite is worse than his bark. Mr Flynn was one of several Nationalist MPs who won a seat at Holyrood. John Swinney, mind your ankles!
Three hours in and it felt as gruelling as Eurovision without the sequins. Even reports of a bus fire outside one of the counts failed to raise the temperature for long.
STV, meanwhile, had reverted to its ITV cousin’s programming where This Morning presenter Josie Gibson was having her own colour dilemma. ‘There is nothing worse than buying a new blush and realising it doesn’t suit your skin tone,’ she told viewers.
There was no election coverage on STV because of strike action on Friday
Co-host Dermot O’Leary nodded gravely. Doubtless, those labouring under the harsh BBC cameras would agree too.
On other channels, Sky and GBNews were obsessing over Reform’s surge and Labour’s collapse in the English council elections. With so many star names stepping away north of the Border, from Sturgeon and Ross, to Yousaf and Forbes, it seemed the interest just wasn’t there. Scotland barely got a look-in.
Back at the Beeb, a glitch caused a moment of high farce when Geissler asked Swinney if not achieving a majority meant he would put aside talk of independence for five years. Silence. Gremlins and not selective deafness, apparently. ‘That’s very disappointing,’ said Geissler, to much knowing laughter around the desk.
The line restored, Swinney found his voice and this time successfully failed to answer the question.
By the time Lorna Slater had romped home in Edinburgh Central flanked by a downcast Angus Robertson and a giant gannet (Slater was the one wearing glasses), things were finally warming up nicely for the political geeks.
Then reporter David Wallace-Lockhart ruined things by insisting on explaining how seats are apportioned on the regional list according to some Belgian mathematician’s complicated formula.
By then, with The Chase about to start on ITV, it is fair to say this correspondent’s race was run. Not so the political parties. They’ll be back to do it all again today.
It may have begun but it certainly isn’t over.
