Kimberly Brown, the wife of BYU football legend Curtis Brown, made an emotional admission about the drowning death of the couple’s 2-year-old son, Haze.
“No word is big enough for the loss I feel. I feel like I’m already forgetting him. And that terrifies me,” Kimberly shared via Instagram on Monday, August 17. “Where did his head fall on my shoulder – cuddled perfectly into my neck? How tall was he again? What did his voice sound like? I know that I know these things. I knew them so well. But now I feel like I have to stop and search my memories for them.”
Haze died on July 26 after being found unresponsive in the family’s pool at their home in Clovis, California. First responders attempted to revive the infant upon arrival, but were unsuccessful. He was eventually pronounced dead after being transported to a local hospital.
“The second he heard us crack open a soda – he would run to the drawer to grab a straw – on a mission to sneak a sip,” Kimberly recalled. “I don’t have that on video. 😩 It’s just a memory now. Will that fade? Will I always remember exactly how he used to do it?”
Kimberly Brown, the wife of former BYU football star Curtis Brown, made a poignant post about their 2-year-old son, Haze, just days before he died by drowning in the family pool. “The age gap was my biggest worry…and it’s turned out to be the biggest blessing. 🤍,” she wrote via Instagram, referencing Haze’s relationship with […]
Kimberly noted she has “so many videos” on her phone of her late son, which she will now use as a way to help keep his memory alive.
Haze Brown, Kimberly Brown Courtesy of Kimberly Brown/Instagram
“I’ve decided I’m going to post on my [Instagram] stories whatever is on my phone from exactly one year ago on that day,” she explained. “I want to relive his last year. Every ordinary, beautiful, messy day that I never knew I would one day give anything to have back.”
Kimberly continued, “I have a little catching up to do because he’s already been gone for 22 days. 😭 22 days without my boy. 22 days without shooting hoops with him. 22 days without hearing his laugh. 22 days without his goodnight kisses. Oh– it makes me nauseous.”
Curtis, 42 — who played running back at BYU from 2002 to 2006 and finished as the leading rusher in school history — and Kimberly also share 13-year-old triplets Julie, Cruze and Kash and son Trey, 12.
Kimberly broke her silence about Haze’s tragic death with a social media post on Saturday, August 15.
“I miss my baby,” Kimberly wrote via Instagram. “I miss him so much it physically hurts. Our bright light and source of pure joy is gone. I’m writing this from the floor of his room, surrounded by his things. Looking at all the little pieces of him that are still everywhere. His clothes. His basketball hoop. His blanket. All the things that were just part of our everyday life.”
She continued, “I keep expecting to hear him. To see those soft curls bouncing as he runs. To hear his little laugh. To squeeze him tight. To kiss his cheeks. To tell him I love him. And then I remember. I don’t know how you survive this. I don’t know how I’m supposed to wake up every morning and live my worst nightmare. I don’t know how a heart is supposed to hold this much pain.”
