Netflix’s “War Machine” has just muscled onto the platform in the latest flex of alien spaceships versus humans. This time, though, there’s only one enemy to deal with – but by Cybertron, this murder machine wreaks bloody havoc on Alan Ritchson’s 81 (he’s only known by this callsign in the movie) and his team of Army Rangers in training!
The narrative setup is simple: There’s one final mission for a group of recruits to complete before they become Rangers. However, they need to finish this task without the use of any real weapons, and after being dumped in the middle of nowhere. It’s convenient for the plot’s purposes, but bad timing for them as a menacing ship from outer space lands in the same area. At first, the recruits wonder if this is all part of the big test, though when the machine starts butchering them, the sole survivors realise that something else is up.
The military against a vehicle from another planet … That sure sounds a lot like the “Transformers” movies, now doesn’t it? Absolutely, and it’s unsurprising that “War Machine” has drawn a lot of comparisons to Michael Bay’s film adaptations of the popular Hasbro IP. Yet —and prepare for the first scorching-hot take of 2026 — “War Machine” does everything better.
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Let’s be real here for a second: no one cares about the human characters in “Transformers” (and considering all the nonsense that Shia LaBeouf has found himself in since he left the series, probably even less now). Transformers shines when it focuses on the war between the Autobots and the Decepticons, while the Earthling stuff feels like a side quest grind for more XP to level up. Consequently, this translates into the wooden and cookie-cutter characters that make up the human element of the movies.
Now, the humans in Patrick Hughes’ “War Machine” aren’t about to invigorate an A24 drama either, but there’s definitely more character development on offer. Ritchson’s 81 grapples with a severe case of survivor’s guilt after watching his brother die in Afghanistan. He’s not in the right headspace – even his superiors attempt to have him removed from the Ranger Assessment and Selection Program – but he needs to face both the battle within and outside to overcome the immediate danger in front of him. At the same time, his fellow recruits aren’t quite a team yet, so they need to learn how to cooperate as soon as possible, because their lives depend on it.
What makes “War Machine” more believable than “Transformers” is how genuinely helpless the human characters come across in the film. They don’t have any weapons on them, so they need to move when there are gaps and pray there’s help on the horizon. It’s like a space horror movie where everyone hides from the sinister killer alien, as anything that falls within the enemy’s periphery is mincemeat. Even at home, the fear lingers and pushes tension to the edge, as the viewer chews on their fingernails and hurries up the characters as they attempt to cross rivers and climb mountains with this monstrosity on their tail.
Compare this believable tension to “Transformers: The Last Knight,” a film that bizarrely mixes in the lore of King Arthur and Excalibur into the already convoluted Transformers origin story. The oil-covered cherry on this rusty cake, though, is when Mark Wahlberg’s Cade Yeager picks up a sword that’s bigger than him and duels with a gigantic bot. Get out of here with that nonsense. It would be more believable if Wahlberg pulled out a classic Marky Mark rap and made the bot’s ears bleed as self-defence.
“Transformers” never truly sells how powerful the Autobots or Decepticons actually are. They’re not quite the size of Godzilla, but they’re bloody massive, and yet somehow, they don’t flatten Sam Witwicky or many humans in their attacks. Conveniently, they also miss a lot of their targets, as if they took shooting lessons from Stormtroopers. That isn’t the case in “War Machine”, as this vessel has an appetite for destruction. There are gory and gnarly kills in the movie that would inspire Eli Roth to make “Hostel: Part IV”. All this only adds to the legitimacy that aliens aren’t coming to Earth to touch fingers and ask us to help them get home; they’re here for conquest.
Another aspect that never makes sense about the “Transformers” films is the actual message or theme. At first, it’s as if the Autobots are meant to teach us what it means to be human. Then it’s about believing in something far greater than oneself. After some time, King Arthur and beast robots are thrown into the mix, because Bayhem, baby! The only certainty in these films is that the self-righteous Optimus Prime will always preach some long-winded, sleep-inducing monologue at the end of the movie before a radio-friendly Linkin Park or Imagine Dragons song blares over the credits. What have we done to deserve this, indeed.
“War Machine” doesn’t try to be too smart or overthink what it’s meant to be. Instead of delving into the reasons the aliens arrive on Earth, it just happens – kind of like “Independence Day”. Sometimes, aliens – much like humans – just want to go to war for the sake of it. In this case, there’s an invasion on the way, and it’s up to humanity to fight back and protect Earth. Yeah, it helps when you have a human brickhouse like Alan Ritchson in your corner, but every action film needs an action star, so why not Jack Reacher himself?!
Judging by the ending of “War Machine”, a sequel is on the cards – and since Netflix scored $2.8 billion from the failed Warner Bros. Discovery deal, it might be feeling generous in greenlighting more projects right now. Who knows, maybe this franchise could devolve into something as dumb as Bay’s “Transformers” in future movies. At least one thing is certain: it’ll be a lot more fun (and believable) watching Ritchson’s 81 punch holes in alien spacecrafts than it ever was putting up with Sam Witwicky or Cade Yaeger’s nonsense.
“War Machine” is out now on Netflix.
