Teacher Reveals the Tried-and-True Hack She Uses to End Kids' Arguments


One Tennessee substitute teacher helped two arguing third graders find ‘common ground’ – a mindset she applies in daily life as an adult

Shelby Rideout. courtesy Shelby Rideout
Shelby Rideout.

courtesy Shelby Rideout

NEED TO KNOW

  • Tennessee substitute teacher, Shelby Rideout, recently stepped in when two third graders began arguing on the bus line
  • The 51-year-old helped them focus on what they had in common, quickly turning tension into laughter
  • Rideout, who posted a viral video about the situation, uses the same approach in everyday life to ease conflicts and build understanding between adults

A routine afternoon dismissal turned into an unexpected lesson in empathy when a substitute teacher in Tennessee noticed two third-grade girls arguing as they waited to board the bus. What could have easily escalated instead became a moment of connection.

The educator, Shelby Rideout, calmly stepped in and guided the students toward understanding rather than punishment. Her approach was simple, intentional and rooted in something she practices well beyond the classroom.

The 51-year-old later posted a TikTok about the learning moment, explaining how the situation between the two students instantly shifted once she reframed the moment.

@brightsignslearning

#teachersoftiktok #storytime #foru #kindness #kids

♬ original sound – brightsignslearning

Instead of focusing on what the girls were doing wrong, she highlighted what was most important – finding “common ground," a tried-and-true method she believes can help resolve nearly every argument.

From there, the girls began finding similarities on their own, discovering shared beliefs and even a mutual love of Ethiopian food, Rideout says in the video. The tension evaporated, replaced by “hooting and hollering and laughing” as they focused on the positive.

"I truly believe what most of us want, at our core, is a sense of peace," she told PEOPLE. "I’ve found it’s easiest to get there when we begin by focusing on the things we share and agree on."

“You are a terrific teacher,” one viewer commented on the video. “Our children need encouragement like you’re giving them.”

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Shelby Rideout. courtesy Shelby Rideout
Shelby Rideout.

courtesy Shelby Rideout

The story, however, also resonated with many who thought the mindset was achievable by anyone, no matter their age.

“I made a conscious decision to befriend a co-worker who I was really struggling with,” one user shared. “I started going out of my way to extend extra kindness to them. We now get along beautifully!"

Rideout told TODAY.com she applies the same principle when navigating adult disagreements, including politics and social issues. When the mother of four reads the news, she tries to see people not as adversaries but as individuals working toward solutions, even if their methods differ.

“Whether someone leans left or right,” she said, “most people are motivated by the same goal: to make things better.”





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