By Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
Although I’ve never been unemployed, I’ve listened to many people who are. Job searches can shake even the most confident professionals. If your wife/husband/partner is in the thick of one, you aren’t a bystander — you’re their teammate. Often, you feel like a player on a losing sports team. You take on the feelings of the player and feel defeated, too. You want to help, but being supportive is more than just saying, “You’ve got this.”
Here are five ways to show up for your partner during their job search:
1. Be Their Mirror, Not Their Fixer
Instead of jumping in with advice, reflect back what you hear. Say things like, “It sounds like you felt dejected after that interview,” rather than, “You should’ve said X instead.” Listening builds trust. Listen more. Talk less. Uninvited coaching can break the trust. Trust me on this one!
2. Respect the Grind, Even If It Seems Invisible
A job search isn’t just sending resumes. It’s networking, rejection, updating materials, researching, interviewing — often without tangible wins. Acknowledge the effort even if the results haven’t landed yet.
3. Don’t Let Their Identity Get Hijacked
Unemployment or career transition can make people feel like they’ve lost status or purpose. Gently remind them that who they are isn’t what they do. Reinforce the qualities that made you proud of them before the title.
4. Run Interference With Family or Friends
Well-meaning relatives may ask awkward questions like, “Still no job?” or offer unhelpful advice. Be the buffer. Change the subject. Shield them from micro-shames that chip away at their confidence. The worst question well-meaning people ask is, “How’s it going?” If they don’t volunteer information, it isn’t going well . . . yet or they may be afraid to jinx it.
5. Celebrate Small Wins Loudly
Got a call back? A solid networking meeting? Celebrate. Job searching is a marathon of uncertainty. Make progress visible and reward momentum — it fuels endurance.
Supporting someone during a job search isn’t about doing the work for them — it’s about showing up in ways that help them stay whole while they do it. Their struggles affect you, but affect them even more.
Love them. They need that, particularly when they feel unlovable.
Ⓒ The Big Game Hunter, Inc., Asheville, NC 2025
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ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER
People hire Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter to provide No BS Career Advice globally because he makes many things in peoples’ careers easier. Those things can involve job search, hiring more effectively, managing and leading better, career transition, as well as advice about resolving workplace issues.
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