I was taking a walk through the forest and out of left field this big ass ******* mushroom fell on my head, **** must have weighed like 2kg

I basically didnt feel it, which confused me because of the scale of the ******* thing, so i went out to the doctor to get it checked out just in case

I get to the doctors office, tell him my ordeal, he takes a good look at me and says “Sir, you are boleteproof”