By Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

EP 202 ⁠Based on interview with Fred Joyal⁠, author of ⁠Superbold⁠, a self-help book focused on building confidence and charisma.

Hey everyone, welcome back for another deep dive. Today, we’re going to be talking all about super boldness.

Ooh, I like that, super boldness.

Yeah, it’s pretty cool concept, right?

It is. And you know, it’s something that I think we could all use a little bit more of in our lives.

Absolutely. So we’re going to be diving into Fred Joyal’s interview on The Big Game Hunter Podcast. He was talking all about his new book, which is called “Superbold: From Underconfident to Charismatic in 90 Days.”

Okay, so like going from wallflower to magnetic personality, basically.

Yeah, pretty much. And what’s really fascinating is that he talks about how this idea of boldness is actually connected to the success of people like Bill Clinton and Steven Spielberg.

Wow. Okay, so I’m already intrigued. How does he make that connection?

Well, he starts by defining boldness as confidence in action.

Okay, I mean, that makes sense. But what makes it super boldness, then?

Well, he says that super boldness is about being able to summon that confidence on demand. Like it’s a muscle that you can train and strengthen over time.

So it’s not just about like being naturally outgoing or fearless. It’s something you can actually develop.

Exactly. It’s about pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, little by little, and building that confidence muscle through consistent action.

Hmm, that’s interesting. So how do we start building this super boldness muscle?

He talks about doing these like boldness muscle exercises.

Boldness muscle exercises? Okay, I like where this is going.

Yeah, they’re pretty wild. Some of them are things like smiling at strangers until someone doesn’t smile back.

Okay, interesting. What else?

Or walking into employees-only areas just to see what happens.

Oh, wow. Pushing the boundaries a little bit, I see.

Yeah, and he even suggests wearing a band-aid on your face all day long.

A band-aid? Why a band-aid?

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Sounds crazy, right? But he says it’s all about confronting that self-consciousness head-on and realizing how little people actually notice or care about those little things that we worry about.

So it’s like a social experiment to prove that our fears are often bigger in our heads than they are in reality.

Exactly. And you know, one of the most fascinating things that Joyal talks about is the connection between boldness and charisma.

Oh, really? How does he tie those two together?

Well, he uses Bill Clinton as an example. You know, even in brief encounters, Clinton had this remarkable ability to make people feel like they were the most important person in the room.

Yeah, he was known for that. But how did he do it?

Joyal says it’s all about being present and attentive, really listening to what people have to say, and making them feel seen and heard.

Ah, so it’s not about being the loudest or most talkative person. It’s about making the other person feel like they’re the center of your attention.

Right. And it’s about those small gestures that show you care, like remembering someone’s name or asking follow-up questions that show you are really listening.

Hmm, that makes a lot of sense. So basically, charisma is about making people feel valued and respected.

Exactly. And Joyal believes that boldness is the key to unlocking that charisma. Because when you’re confident and comfortable in your own skin, you’re more likely to be present and engaged with the people around you.

Okay, that makes sense. So boldness is like the foundation for charisma.

Yeah, I think that’s a really good way to put it.

But you know, a lot of people struggle with being bold. I mean, it can be scary to put yourself out there.

Absolutely. And that’s where Joyal’s message is so empowering, because he says that anyone can learn to be bolder.

Really? Even if you’re naturally shy or introverted?

Yeah. It’s all about challenging those limiting beliefs that tell us we’re not good enough or brave enough, and starting to act in ways that align with the person we want to be.

So how do we start breaking free from those limiting beliefs?

Joyal talks about how we’re often conditioned by society to conform and obey the rules.

Yeah, don’t rock the boat. Don’t stand out from the crowd.

Exactly. But he says that to achieve real success and fulfillment, we need to break free from that programming.

Okay, so how do we do that? Do you have any examples?

Well, he talks about Steven Spielberg and how he basically snuck his way onto a studio lot when he was just a teenager.

Wait, seriously? He just walked in and started making movies?

Pretty much. He dressed the part, pretended to be a director, and just started filming.

Wow, that’s pretty audacious.

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Yeah, and it worked. That bold move launched his entire career.

I guess sometimes you just got to go for it and see what happens.

Right, and that’s what Joyal is trying to teach us. It’s about realizing that the consequences of being bold are rarely as bad as we imagine them to be.

Mm, that’s a good point. We tend to overestimate the risks and underestimate the rewards.

Exactly. And that’s why those boldness muscle exercises are so important. They help us to rewire our brains and start to see the world as a place of opportunity rather than danger.

Okay, so I’m starting to see how this all ties together. Boldness leads to charisma, and it helps us to break free from limiting beliefs and create a more fulfilling life.

Exactly. And it’s not just about those big dramatic gestures. It’s also about those small everyday acts of courage, like speaking up in a meeting or asking for what you want.

So it’s about being intentional and making conscious choices to act in bolder ways.

Exactly. And the more we do that, the more confident and empowered we become.

This is really making me think about areas in my own life where I could be a little bolder.

Yeah, me too. It’s definitely a challenge, but it’s so worth it.

It is. It’s like Joyal is giving us permission to be ourselves, to embrace our unique qualities, and to not let fear hold us back from living our best lives.

Absolutely. And that’s what I love about his message. It’s so empowering and inspiring.

It is. It’s like a call to action to step up and be the best version of ourselves.

Yeah. And you know what, I think the most important thing is that it’s never too late to start. No matter where you are in life, you can always choose to be bolder and create the life you want.

Absolutely. It’s all about taking that first step and then the next one, and the next one after that.

Right. And remember, every act of boldness, no matter how small, is a victory.

I love that. It’s like we’re all on this journey of self-discovery and growth together.

Exactly. And the more we support and encourage each other, the more we can all achieve.

So let’s go out there and be bold.

Let’s do it.

And you know, it all comes back to that idea of making people feel like they’re the only person in the room, which Joyal says is super important for building charisma.

Right.

And one of the simplest ways to do that is to remember people’s names.

Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

It’s such a small thing, but it can make a huge difference in how you make someone feel.

It really does.

It shows that you’re paying attention, that you care enough to remember something as personal as their name.

But what if you’re like me and you’re terrible with names?

Oh, I hear you. I used to be so bad at remembering names.

Do you have any tips?

Well, Joyal actually has a great trick for this.

Okay, I’m all ears.

He suggests that if you forget someone’s name, you can just incorporate a compliment when you ask for it again.

Okay, I like that.

So you could say something like, “You told me such an interesting story earlier that I completely forgot your name. Would you mind reminding me?”

Oh, that’s brilliant.

It turns a potentially awkward moment into a positive one.

Exactly.

And it shows that you were genuinely engaged in the conversation.

Right.

So it’s a win-win.

I love that.

Now another thing that Joyal talks about is how boldness can help us break free from past experiences.

Oh, yeah. Those moments that we’d rather forget.

Exactly. Like those times when we felt awkward, embarrassed, or rejected.

We all have those memories.

But the key is to not let those experiences define us.

It’s so easy to get stuck in those negative thought patterns, though.

It is. But Joyal reminds us that those experiences are simply part of our journey. They don’t have to hold us back from taking risks in the future.

So it’s about reframing those experiences as opportunities for growth rather than seeing them as failures.

Exactly. Every time you step outside your comfort zone and things don’t go exactly as planned, you gain valuable experience. You learn what works and what doesn’t.

And hopefully, you don’t make the same mistake twice.

Aha, exactly.

But even if you do, it’s all part of the learning process.

It is. And the more we embrace that learning process, the more resilient we become.

I love that.

Now, one thing that can really hold us back from being bold is the fear of what other people think.

Oh, yeah. That’s a big one.

It’s so easy to get caught up in our own heads and assume that everyone is judging us.

Right. Everyone’s watching our every move.

Right. Exactly. But the reality is that most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to even notice.

That’s true.

Joyal has this great line. He says, “You have no idea what head space the other person is in. We can’t possibly know what’s going in someone else’s life.”

So why assume the worst?

Exactly. It’s about giving people the benefit of the doubt and not letting their mood or their reactions dictate our own self-worth.

So how do we apply this don’t-take-it-personally mindset to those situations where we do feel judged or rejected?

It’s about reminding ourselves that not everyone is going to like us or approve of our choices.

Right. And that’s okay.

It is. It’s about recognizing that rejection is a part of life and that it doesn’t diminish our worth or our value.

Mm. That’s a good reminder.

It is. And the more we can detach our sense of self from those external judgments, the freer we become to express ourselves authentically.

Which brings us back to that idea of boldness. It’s about having the courage to be ourselves, even when it feels risky or uncomfortable.

And you know, sometimes those seemingly small acts of boldness can lead to the most incredible connections and opportunities.

Oh, absolutely.

Joyal talks about how one of his closest friendships started because he decided to strike up a conversation with a random person on his first day of college.

That’s awesome.

It is. It’s a great reminder that you never know what might happen when you step outside your comfort zone and put yourself out there.

It’s like that old saying, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Aha, that’s a good one.

And it’s not just about meeting new people. Joyal argues that boldness can also deepen existing relationships.

How so?

It’s about being willing to be vulnerable, to share your true feelings, and to have those tough conversations that can sometimes be necessary to strengthen a relationship.

Hmm, that makes sense. It’s about taking the risk of being truly seen and heard, even if it feels scary or uncomfortable.

And often that vulnerability can be incredibly powerful. It creates a space for deeper connection and allows relationships to grow in authenticity and intimacy.

That’s beautiful.

Now, a lot of people hesitate to be bold because they associate it with being loud, extroverted, or attention-seeking.

Yeah, like you have to be the life of the party.

Right. But Joyal makes it clear that boldness can be quiet and understated.

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Ah, that’s interesting.

It’s not about trying to be the center of attention or dominating every conversation. It’s about being true to yourself, expressing your ideas confidently, and not letting fear stop you from pursuing your goals.

So it’s about being assertive without being aggressive.

Exactly.

And it’s about recognizing that your voice matters even if it’s not the loudest one in the room.

Right.

Joyal gives the example of someone speaking up in a meeting even if they’re feeling nervous or unsure of themselves. That takes a lot of courage, especially if you’re naturally introverted or you’re in a setting where you feel intimidated.

It does. But it can be so powerful to share your unique perspective and contribute to the conversation, even if your voice shakes a little.

It’s about recognizing that you have something valuable to offer.

Absolutely.

And by speaking up, you might even inspire others to do the same.

That’s a great point.

It’s like that ripple effect we were talking about earlier.

Exactly. Boldness can be contagious.

I love that.

Now Joyal also talks about the boldness of asking for what you want, whether it’s a raise, a promotion, or simply more respect in a relationship.

Hmm, that can be tough for a lot of people.

It can. It’s about recognizing your worth and not being afraid to advocate for your needs.

But it’s so important.

It is. It’s about creating a life that aligns with your values.

And sometimes that requires a little bit of boldness.

Sometimes a lot of boldness.

Yeah, that’s true.

Joyal even suggests negotiating the price of a car or asking for a discount at a store.

Oh, wow. Really?

Yeah, it’s about taking control of your life and not letting others dictate your worth or your value.

I like that. It’s about being empowered.

Exactly. And you know, sometimes it’s those small acts of boldness that can actually lead to the biggest breakthroughs in terms of building our confidence. It’s about proving to ourselves that we can handle those situations that we might have previously avoided. And once we start seeing those small wins, it creates a positive feedback loop that encourages us to be even bolder in other areas of our lives.

It’s like building momentum.

Exactly. Each act of boldness, no matter how small, contributes to that sense of self-efficacy and empowers us to keep pushing ourselves further.

I love that. So what other tips does Joyal have for building boldness?

Well, he talks about how boldness can help us overcome those ingrained beliefs that tell us we’re not good enough, smart enough, or worthy of success.

Those limiting beliefs can be so hard to shake.

They can. But Joyal says it’s about challenging those beliefs and replacing them with more empowering ones.

Okay, so how do we do tha

He gives the example of someone who’s terrified of public speaking.

Oh, yeah, that’s a common one.

It is. But by repeatedly putting themselves in situations where they have to speak in front of others, they start to build their confidence and eventually overcome their fear.

So it’s about exposure therapy, basically.

Yeah, kind of. It’s about facing your fears head-on and realizing that the consequences are often not as dire as we imagine.

Right. Our fears tend to be bigger in our heads than they are in reality.

Exactly. And with each experience, the fear starts to diminish, and the confidence starts to grow.

Mm, that makes sense.

Joyal also talks about the importance of positive self-talk.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. The way we talk to ourselves can have a huge impact on our confidence and our self-esteem.

It really can.

So it’s about replacing those negative thoughts and self-doubts with more empowering affirmations.

Exactly. Joyal has this great line. He says, “You are not shy. You behave in a shy manner.”

Hmm, that’s interesting.

It’s a reminder that shyness isn’t an inherent trait. It’s a behavior that can be changed.

So it’s about making a conscious choice to act in bolder ways.

Right. And by doing so, we can start to reshape our self-perception and create a new narrative for ourselves.

It’s like we’re taking control of our own story.

I love that.

Me too. It’s very empowering.

So as we wrap up our deep dive into super boldness, what are some of the key takeaways that really stand out to you?

Well, one thing that really struck me was how Joyal emphasizes that boldness isn’t about becoming someone you’re not. It’s about tapping into a part of yourself that might have been dormant.

Like uncovering a hidden superpower.

Exactly. And he really challenges the idea of being shy.

Yeah, he says it’s not an inherent trait, but a behavior that can be changed.

Right. Like we all have moments when we’re not shy.

With close friends or family, or when we’re really passionate about something.

Exactly. So it’s not about becoming a completely different person, but rather about choosing to be bold when it matters most.

Hmm, that’s a good distinction.

And it all starts with those small, intentional acts of boldness that we’ve been talking about.

Like what are some examples?

Well, Joyal talks about how to approach networking differently.

Okay, how so?

Instead of going in with the mindset of “What can I get out of this?”, he suggests focusing on making a genuine connection with people. He challenges you to walk into a room and aim to make five people feel good about themselves.

Wow, that’s a cool goal.

It is, and it’s a subtle shift in focus, but it can make a huge difference in how you’re perceived.

So it’s not about trying to sell yourself or impress people. It’s about genuinely connecting with them on a human level.

Exactly. It’s about being interested, being present, and making people feel valued.

And that can be as simple as saying hi to strangers or giving compliments.

Right. Those small acts of boldness can have a ripple effect, brightening someone’s day and making you feel good in the process.

It’s like planting seeds of kindness and connection.

Exactly. And what’s interesting is that it directly challenges the fear of rejection that holds so many people back.

Yeah, that fear can be paralyzing.

It can. But by consistently putting yourself out there, you start to realize that most people are actually quite receptive to friendly interactions.

And even if someone doesn’t reciprocate, it’s not a reflection of our worth.

Right. They might be having a bad day or just be lost in their own thoughts.

We shouldn’t take it personally.

Exactly. It’s about detaching our sense of self from the reactions of others and understanding that everyone is on their own journey.

So it’s about being bold in our interactions without letting the fear of judgment hold us back?

You know, one thing that I really appreciate about Joyal’s message is his emphasis on empowering yourself to be your best self. It’s about breaking free from limiting beliefs, taking risks, and creating a life filled with meaningful connections and experiences.

Absolutely. And the key is that it’s all within our control.

Right.

Boldness isn’t something we’re born with. It’s a choice we make every single day.

So what’s one small, bold action our listeners can take today to step outside their comfort zone?

Hmm, it could be anything, really. Think about something you’ve been wanting to do, but have been hesitant to try.

Okay.

Maybe it’s reaching out to someone you admire, volunteering for a new project at work, or expressing your feelings to someone you care about.

The important thing is to take that first step, no matter how small it might seem.

Exactly. Because every act of boldness, no matter how insignificant it might feel in the moment, builds momentum and creates a ripple effect that can transform your life.

And remember, boldness is contagious.

It is.

As you embrace your own super boldness, you’ll inspire others to do the same.

So go out there and be bold. You never know what amazing things might happen when you step outside your comfort zone and embrace the power of super boldness.

That’s great advice. And for our listeners who want to learn more about Fred Joyal’s work, be sure to check out his book, “Superbold,” and his website for more insights and inspiration.

Until next time, keep exploring, keep learning, and keep being bold.

See you next time.

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