Hamel hopes to shed light on how tough the situation really is

NEED TO KNOW

• Melissa Hamel has been unemployed since 2022 and shares the financial and mental toll of long-term unemployment

• Her viral TikTok video, with 3.6 million views, highlights the struggles of job searching in today’s competitive market
• Hamel hopes her story helps others feel less alone and sparks awareness about the realities of unemployment

Like millions of people, Melissa Hamel was let go from her job at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic.

After what felt like endless interviews and sending resumes, she found a teaching assistant job in August 2022, only to find herself unemployed once again four months later.

In the years since, Hamel, 44, tells PEOPLE that she has been “surviving on odd jobs, financial aid refunds and donations.”

“My mother helped me out until she no longer could; she’s on a fixed income, but it’s been bad,” she says. “For the past six to eight months I’ve stopped proactively interviewing and job searching because I cannot afford to commute to interviews.”

Hamel says that four years into the process, “the well is dry.”

“That’s just logistics, that’s just finances. The mental health toll is something that is extremely difficult to articulate to people that have not been unemployed more than six months in this current market,” she shares. “They do not understand. There’s really not a whole lot to do except for despair. Because when you run out of resources to even try and pull yourself out of said situation, it gets dark. It’s one day at a time.”

Hamel has been documenting her experiences on TikTok, mostly to inform people of just how bad the job market actually is.

“After having countless conversations with my family, my mother, who is my best friend and my biggest supporter, my close friends in real life who show up for me, there is still a cognitive dissonance that exists between people that have not experienced this current market,” Hamel emphasizes.

In her videos, she explains that she often finds people gaslighting her about the situation, “even when they have the best of intentions.”

“They will make you feel as though you are not doing enough. They do not understand the nuance of this market and what is required across any industry, not just the one that I built my career on,” she says. “I got tired of explaining myself, and I knew I wasn’t alone, but I only knew I wasn’t alone because of people I was seeing on TikTok.”

“People in my real life are struggling, but not to the extent that I am because they haven’t been unemployed for this long,” she adds.

Hamel wanted to share her story to open up people’s hearts and minds, “but also, to let other people know that they are not alone and they are not crazy, that it is in fact that bad.”

Recently, Hamel posted a video about her experience, and it went viral, amassing over 3.6 million views. She shares that through the video, she was able to find community.

“There are strangers that I’ve connected with because of this video. There’s a relatively large creator named Dr. Casanova Brown who started talking about this as well, and he started a hashtag called AgeofDisclosure,” she shares. “A lot of people are now using that hashtag to discuss the cost-of-living crisis and long-term unemployment. I do connect with them when my mental health permits.”

Hamel says she goes “on TikTok every day,” as “there’s been an extremely large amount of support from strangers versus the people in real life.”

“Even well-intentioned people are not aware of the machinations of the market. They do not realize that not everybody is able-bodied and can do manual labor. Not everybody can do certain types of jobs,” she explains. “That’s nothing to say of the racism and ageism that goes on. Those are the givens that always exist in a job market, but they’re simply exacerbated now by how competitive it is.”

“I’m competing with people that are less qualified than me, just like people that are more qualified than me are competing with me for the same roles, because every industry is so saturated,” Hamel says.

Hamel says there’s a lot that she’s up against when applying to jobs, such as the cost of commuting, the cost of printing, background checks and more. She notes that when people give quick advice on the internet, they’re often not thinking about the whole picture.

“What if you have to pay for childcare when you go to interviews? You have to have clean clothes? You have to have gas in your car or money on your commuter card? People aren’t taking just even the basic things into consideration when they go into giving you this really trite, repetitive advice,” she says. “All of these are sunken costs. You don’t get any of this money back when you go on interviews and don’t get hired.”

She notes that all of those examples don’t even take into consideration the sheer amount of applications that get rejected by applicant tracking systems — software that companies use to scan and manage job applications.

If the resume makes it through to a human being, there are usually multiple rounds of interviews, some in person, that require commuting costs. Even then, it’s very possible the company hires someone internally, or ghosts the candidate and the process starts all over again.

She says that “everything we’ve been trying to explain to friends, family and strangers has been validated.”

“I don’t know what advice anybody can get that’s really going to trick or shortcut, a way to a legitimate job that is going to give you 40 hours a week and benefits and a livable wage, because it’s all rigged and it’s getting worse,” Hamel shares before adding that she “can’t imagine having children in this scenario.”

“I’m a single person and I’m struggling to get out of bed. It’s all just a negotiation. Do I pay to do laundry or do I refill medication? Do I pay to go to a job interview or do I keep my phone on? If I can’t keep my phone on, I can’t do the interview. It’s an all-consuming, all-encompassing monster,” she shares. “I’m not a cynic. I’m not a glass-half-empty person. But the reality of my lived experience and the reality of what this video and content has shown me is that it’s going to get much worse before it gets better.”

She hopes that more people realize they are “one car accident, one health issue, one layoff, one paycheck away from being dumped into this.”

“I’m on food stamps, I’m on Medicaid. The only income I have is quarterly financial aid, so I get $3,000 or $4,000 every four months. I do odd jobs. My mom gave me everything she could until she couldn’t,” she says. “I have a GoFundMe that’s been running for a year and a half. I don’t leave my house. I leave my house one or two days every time I get my financial aid, and I go out and I treat myself to buying some books, having a couple cocktails, getting out of the house, and that’s it. I’m in my house.”

“Other than going to the grocery store, that’s it. This is my life,” she adds. “It sucks. It’s really hard to want to pull yourself out of this situation when you know how futile it is logistically.”

She shares that while she may not “look poor” because she is housed, that doesn’t mean there aren’t struggles behind the scenes.

“I haven’t had the internet in my house since 2022. I rely on hotspots from the library. My phone is often disconnected. I don’t eat every day. There is so much more education that needs to be done,” Hamel shares.

“The mental health of it all is killing people. Not in an abstract sense and not just in the sense that people are becoming homeless and dying on the streets, because that is very real and very much happening, or people are turning to self-medication and dying that way,” she says. “As somebody who came to depression and despair later in life, it has gotten exponentially worse obviously over these past four years.”

“I never experienced suicidal ideation before becoming long-term unemployed. I want to live. But I do not want to wake up tomorrow either because there’s nothing to look forward to,” Hamel admits.

Despite everything, Hamel holds on to hope for the future. Once she reaches 10,000 followers online, she will be able to monetize her content. Through it all, she tries to be optimistic and serve as a resource for others going through the same thing.

“I have to believe it’s chipping away in some small way. If for no other reason than it’s helping those in similar circumstances not feel alone or crazy, and giving them a reason to keep breathing. Because if I’m playing a part in that, then mission accomplished,” she tells PEOPLE. “I’m hoping for hope. An old friend said that to me years ago, when she was talking about her divorce, and those words have stuck with me. That’s just what it is; it’s just one breath at a time.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges, emotional distress, substance use problems, or just needs to talk, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org 24/7.

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