Content Warning: This post discusses diet culture and body image struggles.
Weight gain is a totally normal and expected part of pregnancy. However, for women who’ve struggled with body image issues in the past, the physical changes can be difficult to process at first.
Now, appearing on Dylan’s new Wildmen podcast, which he hosts with Brendan Columbus, Barbara — who is currently in her third trimester — talked candidly about her pregnancy journey so far, admitting that she sometimes feels “guilty because [she’s] not enjoying pregnancy as much as a lot of women out there.”
After discussing tricky symptoms like nausea and tiredness, Barbara said she experienced a lot of stress about gaining weight during pregnancy, with the changes in her body reopening body image “scars” from her past. “I was like, oh, the number on the scale is really going up super quick, and my arms are getting bigger,” she said. “You don’t have a bump yet, but your stomach is bigger, and your pants don’t fit. I started spiraling.”
For context, Barbara’s body image struggles stem from her years in the public eye as a model, entering the industry at just 13 years old. “By 17, every single time I would go into the agency, they would tell me I had to lose weight. My hips were too big,” she recalled during the podcast episode. “I didn’t even have hips yet.”
She continued: “I’ve been already scarred for constantly getting commented on my body. From my agency— from the industry in general to lose weight. Lose weight, be skinnier, do this, do that. I was trying to do all that. I was dieting. I was eating unhealthy. I was going crazy ‘cause I would think like, ‘Oh my god, I’m in such a good shape.'”
Barbara said she especially struggled when she landed a spot in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in 2018 and was labeled “the first plus-size model” ever to take part. Explaining that there’s nothing “hurtful” about being described as plus-size, Barbara said it was difficult purely because she never considered herself a part of that category. “When you don’t consider yourself that, and you’ve really been torturing yourself to fit into this other category… it really fucks you up,” she said.
Barbara was able to heal her relationship with food and body image during the pandemic, when she took a break from modeling. However, it’s still no surprise to hear that her pregnancy triggered some toxic thoughts from the past.
Talking about her “weird” feelings about her pregnancy weight gain, Barbara said, “This is when it’s important that you have a good partner. Dylan was there, reminding me every single time that we’re creating life.”
Elsewhere in the episode, Barbara and Dylan announced that they’re expecting a baby girl! Congratulations to these two. You can find the full interview here.
View this video on YouTube
Wildmen Podcast / youtube.com
