For a quick reminder, Matt and Ben grew up a block and a half away from each other in Boston and first met when Ben was 8 and Matt was 10. They quickly bonded over their shared love of acting, and after leaving school, they effectively merged their lives — moving in together and opening a shared bank account — to help make their Hollywood dreams come true.
The road certainly wasn’t easy, but they were committed to making it big together — and eventually, they did, in the most major way possible. During the “unemployed, broke” era of their 20s, Matt and Ben worked together on a screenplay for a movie called Good Will Hunting (ever heard of it?). The script was eventually picked up, and they both starred in the film alongside Robin Williams. In 1998, Good Will Hunting won two Academy Awards — including Best Original Screenplay for Matt and Ben. (Ben, who was 25 at the time, still remains the youngest person ever to win this award.)
That was their big break, and, as I’m sure you know, both Matt and Ben have gone on to enjoy monumentally successful Hollywood careers — and they’re still close collaborators today thanks to their production company, Artists Equity.
Now, reflecting on their 45 years of close friendship, Matt told Amy: “We’ve experienced so much of life together. It’s not a friendship that could ever be replicated, just because we grew up together.”
“We really were bizarre kids who were serious about acting, and we were in the union,” he said, reflecting on their early days. “At 16 and 14 years old, we were going to New York together to audition for stuff. Our friendship was founded on quite a bit of common experience, but that was central to it and very unique to the two of us… We were together all the time writing a screenplay together.”
Even though Ben is a few years younger, Matt made it clear that there definitely isn’t an “older brother, younger brother” dynamic between them, but, instead, “a deep and abiding love and respect.”
“It’s very helpful when you’re working creatively with someone, because you’re not worried about their feelings. It’s just the allegiance is to the thing that we’re making, and we’re trying to get there as quickly as we can and as efficiently as we can. There’s a deep trust,” he said, adding that working with Ben is “a very easy experience” for them both. “It also ends up being just really fun, because you’re doing it with, for me, it’s my closest friend for 40 years, 45 years. Who else would I want to hang out with and do stuff with?… It’s about, really, the pursuit of joy in our lives and in our work.”
It’s not unusual for Matt and Ben to talk publicly about how much they care for and respect one another; however, Matt’s comments seem to have really hit home with fans, particularly regarding how we view male friendships.
“This might be corny, but men really need to celebrate these types of relationships, and the constant gay jokes made about Matt and Ben sour that, further deterring men from having deep emotional, vulnerable platonic connections with one another,” one Reddit user wrote in response to a clip of Matt talking about Ben. “It really is one of the key societal differences between men and women (abundance of supportive relationships), and I genuinely think male violence, both self-inflicted and upon other people, would decrease if this were encouraged.”
“Honestly if men would let themselves have friendships like these the world would be better,” one popular comment on the thread read.
It prompted others to reflect on the value of deep friendships, and how “exceedingly rare” they are becoming in this day and age. “I have one. He’s basically my brother, and the whole family I consider family. I have a couple of other close friends, but nothing will beat that one, really deep friendship,” another user wrote. “What’s worse is that a lot of aspects of society actively get in the way of developing or fostering those relationships to begin with. Or tell people not to ever compromise, when all relationships involve some level of compromise. You’re never going to find kinship if you’re looking for that person who is completely 1:1 with you.”
“Honestly, this type of friendship (whether between men or women) is becoming increasingly rare and will become even rarer in the future,” echoed someone else. “Especially with social media today, people — particularly the new generation — are becoming more and more isolated from one another. Regardless of gender, I repeat.”
Someone else added, “It is really hard to sustain a relationship for that long. Especially when it starts in childhood. Everyone changes and evolves, and it can be a strain.”
So, what do you make of this conversation? Do you think deep, personal friendships are becoming harder to develop and maintain? LMK in the comments.
Some Reddit comments were slightly edited for length or clarity.
